Thought on upgrades...

So a couple of days ago I updated my phone. I got some great new surprises, like the ability to customize my 'desktop' with new thingys, widgets and gadgets and even the ability to have multiple desktops. I can now do as your basic no-camera 2002 Motorola can do and send texts to multiple people at once. As my excitement dies down and all the little asthetic loving endorphins exhaust themselves and go back to their barcaloungers in their corner of my brain. That whole left side kicks in and goes to work. I'm thinking, "hey, these are cool features, but didn't I have all that on my Palm? Granted it was like shopping at WalMart as opposed to Saks Fifth Avenue, and it was as clumsy as the old 'mainframe' back in the day, but the features were there. I know that I'm a slave to asthetics. I have to be... I'm an atrist. But I'm also very loyal and sentimental. It pissed me off a little bit when I had to trade in the aftermarket app (custom ringtones from your mp3's) because the software is no longer compatible.

It's the case for everything in life. We are always enticed to trade up. Dazzled by coolness and newness. Design fitting of MoMa. But how often do we acctually look back at what we left behind in this little trade up?

I did. My heart sank as my mind applied software's dragon chase to my life. I think about my first love and wonder if it was worth it for us to trade each other in for an updated version. I doubt either of us realized we were just following a pied piper and that new version was just a fresh version of what we already had. And it too would someday feel obsolete. I don't know why I could recognize the lost that app but it's taken me 15 years to open my eyes to what I traded away blindly. Things that were real. Worth something. I wish sometimes I could live in conscious quantum physics and voyeur my life in every path I didn't take. But like I've said dozens of times as of late... without Risk, there is no Reward. And to toss out those oh-so-annoying movie quotes: "The sweet would never be nearly as sweet without the bitter."

And all I can do is appreciate what is in front of me. Life in regret is no life.

*Oh see, I feel bad now for dissing my poor phone, I didn't know I got GPS.  damn conclusion jumping!