Here’s my take:
Sex is very important to me. It is an open and intense place for me. I bond with my lover even if all we have is that one night. The intensity is unclassifiable. For that reason, I reserve casual sex for few select people. It needs to be a friend. We need to be able to bond by sharing intimacy privately without expectations, explanation, or regret. With a lover, the world assumes intimacy. With friends, it’s a secret only the two of us share. It might be selfish, but the less the rest of the world is involved, the more for us.
Relationship sex:
Sometimes friendship sex turns into relationship sex. I understand I run the risk of this evolution, but if I am to fall in love... I must first have a friend. But this transition requires perfect synchronicity. It requires consent on both sides. It is perfectly acceptable to love your friend. But we fail in that we skip the step of friendship trying to own partnership. I won't let anyone shame me for valuing the bond of a friendship over coupling. I am complete without coupling, it is only an enhancement, not an ingredient in my self-worth. But I am not above admitting I have needs. My ingredients: family, self worth in harmony with humility, ethics, respect, idealistic faith, intimacy, trust, and true siterhood/brotherhood that I have found in my deepest friendships.
Friday, January 25, 2008
How do you feel about casual sex?
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5 comments:
Hmm. I don't do so well with the casual sex. Maybe because of my strict upbringing. I kinda envy people who can have casual sex and not regret it the next day. I'm kinda built for relationshipy sex. But then since I'm not getting so much of that ... what was my point again? Oh yea, I need some batteries.
it's not really my thing, but to each his/her own. I think the main things is to protect oneself , set the ground rules e.g hey this is just a booty call or a one nigth stand,etc, and if both parties are cool with that, rock on. Oh and have a good time. I mean as silly as it may sound what is the point of havign sex, whether it is in a relationship or one nigth sound if both parties don't enjoy it?
How do you feel about safe sex?? Do you think sex is for a mutiple of partners?
Casual or not ; sex is a stimulation excreting pleasure to seduce a partner into their own pleasure while satisfying one urge. Would you not say?Then wouldnt you say that is lust?
Nice thought now consider :) you been seduced by thought
This is a really complex one...(smiling) Where should I start? Sex should definitely be reserved for someone you are friends with. While I have been celibate for longer than I care to recall....I must confess that that I feel it's mind over matter. As long as you are responsible and practice safe sex and it does not harm anyone (such as a spouse or someone else's lover) .....I say go for it! Who can deny that amazing feeling shared by two....or if you are kinky....perhaps three...(I'm really smiling now)
ok I have to admit that you are right, if you are going to have casual sex that it should be with a friend. I mean to have a woman that totally knows me as a friend only add to those moments, and plus because you are friends, you both know each other turn off and turn on, so you don't have to go though those strange moments , where you are kissing her thigh thinking "Ok is this what she want, it this working for her?" Also since it casual there are no hang up or head trips, and that truly makes it more enjoyable. However, the only problem is that more than likely someone will cross the line and that where the problem start if both parties don't want to cross that line.
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