What a road trip will tell you

After driving 11 out of the last 24 hours, no phone, sometimes nothing on the radio, just me myself and I... I cleared a lot of what's been on my mind.
1. I don't have to assist someone in redeeming themself if I don't want to. Sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs lie. I'm not Mother Theresa and call me cold, but when you make your choice~ life doesn't give you take backs.
2. I miss Barry White. I know, *what a chick thing to say... Proof in point that the Italians have it right when they say "Romance before victory"... if a man can look like Barry but if he knows romance, he'll still make every woman melt. He can even outshine that guy with everthing on the outside, but nothing he's willing to give. Thanks to Quincy Jones, putting together a ballad of sappy serenade: These sexy voiced men can tell me what real life men haven't said: I know a melody that we could sing together. I've got the secret key to you, baby. Let's make music. Harmonizin' ecstasy...Here in the garden. Where temptation feels so right...Your secret garden,
3. People can live without love, but not a lover. Or was it: Live without a lover but not love. No, I really think it's the first one. Actually, it's probably true that we need both.
4. Oooh, an even better Barry White paraphrase of my current thoughts: "it's just you and me, So many things I can do to you, And so many ways I can please, Hey, hey, hey, it's your move, Why don't you start turning down the lights, And show me what just you can do, hey, baby
'Cause you keep tellin' me this and tellin' me that, You say once I'm with you, I'll never go back, I know there's a lesson that you wanna teach, Here I am, baby, practice what you preach
5. Why does my head start to spin when I hear folks griping about little things in their relationships? I mean.. if you are so unhappy that the mere way he breathes bothers you, maybe you aren't in love! Love it or leave it baby. You only have one life to live. Don't let your fears of being alone or having to look for new love or any other fear hold you back from true happiness. Want it all and have it all.
6. I'll never go a week again without a manicure. It's not vanity at all. Really, it's just self care. It's no different than eating right and exercising. I show myself and the world I care about myself.

Ten truths about my week in LA

Ten truths this week...
1. Working out in hotel gyms is awkward. They always seem to put them right by the front desk so you're on display like a fish. But you gotta do what you gotta do.
2. I made a virtual friendship official yesterday (or I should say WE) made it official over coffee & pomegranite juice.
3. I've found my loft and I love it, but I'm having second thoughts about moving here
4. I've had a surprising amount of sexual dreams and thoughts lately. Probably because I'm not getting it on lately :(
5. I can't seem to watch CNN without crying these days.
6. I've always known I'm pretty much fearless, but the past few months were ridden with fearsI was forced to face and I think I needed that. It has catapulted me out of stagnition into new heights of positive risk taking.
7. I love it when I see a man at the grocery store buying his lady flowers. Have men forgotten how important that little gesture is -even when you don't screw up, even when she didn't rock your world the night before... just "because"
8. It's amazing how a conversation is so energetic and exhilerating when the astrology is matched up well (yes, I'm starting to really buy into that!)
9. Although Washington is very progressive, it still pisses me off sometimes. I bought a gallon of Stoli at the grocery store that was on sale for $24 (for those who don't know, WA state has tight liquor regs and taxes so you can't get it for under $40)
10. I think leaving Seattle right now would be a mistake. But it took coming here to get the move logistics in place to figure that out. I'm not too proud to admit I was wrong.

Moving On...(Part I)

I've been going through some old journals and I found this unfinished piece I wrote back in 2000. It seemed quite appropriate at the moment. Let me know whatcha think.....

They said it would be stormy today so I suppose that explains my mood. It's almost as though my body is muggy on the inside. It's the kind of day that had me wanting to stand out in the middle of the street with the rain pouring down all around me. As if I needed to be cleansed or something. I'm not sure why this happens, but typically when I have an epiphany I feel dirty. I guess it's not a bad thing. Probably just like the sweat you get from a good workout. My dumb luck, it didn't rain. It was just plain hot. Balmy and hot. Any other day, I'd curse the rain. But it's just another damn Indian summer day. Likely it'll be another week of this. I took a shower instead but I just couldn't seem to feel clean.

Slipped into bed with freshly laundered sheets. Everything seems to be unsullied, but my mind was not pure. As long as he lives there in my thoughts there is a certain stain that remains adulterated. How can it be that intimate moments right here in this bed I relished like grandma's sweet rhubarb pie now felt like errors in the recipe? Is it forever my style to fall so brutally out of love the same way I fell so soflty into it? My passion that pulls us together now deflects access to my heart.

Ah, love is simply blind. At some point I suppose I'll regain my focus and realize I just needed a new prescription for those trusty rose colored spectacles.

This week's top ten facts

1. Some things are better left unsaid
2. Lyrics speak volumes for me when I don't know how to make it concise
3. I love my friends enough to know that they'll stick around when I'm gone
4. My choices the last few weeks have been the hardest, but I'm on the fence about whether they are the smartest
5. I hate my painting I did a few weeks ago but everyone else loves it (lots of anger and work with a palate knife)
6. I can't always see it, a lot of doors close and stubborn people like me sit outside and freeze rather than admit they picked the wrong one and try again.
7. California Love is the song of the month. It was released the last time I moved to LA.
8. Can't stop a rollin' stone
9. I am not applying myself the way I used to
10. I'm undecided, blonde or brunette? Give me your vote...