I really want this

Coco's off and running

It's been a year and a half since I ran my last marathon. I need to start training again as I've decided to run the NYC Marathon for the second time. It is something I just need to do. I am a better person when I have the bar set very high. I pretty much need it set at the highest notch available. 26.2 miles for the 3rd time (2nd time in the world's largest marathon) is a sufficiently high goal, dontcha think?

This means nothing to those that don't know me. But to those who do, I'm going to need some encouragement. I'm going to need to gain weight and get back into training mode. Not to mention you all might have to put up with my post-6 mile sweattiness from time to time if you want me to hang out for Happy Hour -- that's really the only way I can justify Guinness until November.

Vision Quest #7: You never know.... It can always be worse.

u never know what can happen.

I met this lady a few years ago and I immediately adored her. She was charismatic, educated, savvy and possesed multitudes of qualities I rate highly in others. I was drawn to her by both admiration and intrigue. She was financially smart, supported worthy causes, and freakin' hilarious fun to be with.

The purpose of the verbose intro was let you know that crap can land in just about anybody's lap. This awesome lady was involved in an auto accident that resulted in serious injuries and a fatality. Her life is forever changed. She's still the same person, but she will never be the same.

A lifetime can change in an instant. If I have any control over anything in life, I vow to be certain each moment, each memory... is one that will forever remind me of the good person I am and the good people I choose to share my life with.

Writing

My pilot concept is in full swing active mode. Writing, writing and more writing. I promise it's going to be juicy-sexy-intense. HBO is in my sight.

The Tipping Point

Yeterday was pretty good. Flowers and love from a bunch of people. Apparantly I've touched some lives. Right on. But the one thing I'll remember most was my conversation with Petar about "The Tipping Point" (just google it, I'm not a link-poster type). I thought about the concept all night and realized the reason I was so preoccupied was this:

The Tipping Point is a GREAT metaphor for my life. I am that little chic eclectic urban oasis that draws them in. Yet the same thing you are drawn to seems to scare you away. Take it or leave it SOB's I'm just Madonna, but I'm not the "complex". What's with the curiosity? Come hang with the differences instead of peeking and coveting. All the while packing your bags and running for the colorless hills of affluence. True wealth is more worthy than measure, your 'dollar & image' scales leave you with no cents (sense).

Do it all the way or don't do it at all. None of that half-assed shyte for me, ok?

Drafts, Edits, and Posts

Why do I have so many more drafts than actual posts?

Possibilities:
1. I hate being misunderstood more than anything (misunderstood would include loosely such things as prejudices, assumptions, and all around ego-centric states wherein others impose jugement on me/you/anyone else).
2. I suck at editing. My mind is a gift and a curse. Although it is very stimulating, it goes speed-racer like a mouse on cocaine and I can't always keep up. I seriously have to resort to music/tv/books/sex to shut it down in order to sleep.
3. I don't want to be vulnerable right now, (nearly everything I post is from my heart). As strong as I am, I also have a lot going on at the moment. Some tidbits: I have a close friend facing a vehicular homicide sentence (non-dui, just a freak accident). I found a couple of significant folks from my past. My grandma is dying. I can't fall in love for the life of me. It's very overwhelming.
4. I am on a creative cycle that is quite revolutionary. Renaissance~esque coupled with category 5 storm destructiveness. Very confusing to say the least.

"You made me acknowledge the devil in me
I hope to God I'm talking metaphorically,
Hope that I'm talking alegorically,
Know that I'm talking about the way I feel"

Vision Quest Lesson #6

It's pretty brutal when you realize you are heading in the wrong direction, spinning your wheels, or fighting for a lost cause. It's especially tough when it happens in matters of the heart. But ignoring those red-flags to avoid the beating will only delay the inevitable.

Help me break

Please baby help me fall in love
And catch me with left field's glove
If you hold on you'll feel DiMaggio's glory
And I'll complete your story

Don't worry love u gotta get it all right
Cuz there's always a sequel if it aint quite
We got enough if we let it come alive
Exponentially we can multiply

I don't wanna cramp your style
Or hoard you in insecurity's file
I'm not like every other girl
I'm very aware I need to compliment your world

I'm ready and been shoppin, gotta get this right
Heart and mind stuck, can't even fight
Love's quicksand and I have nothin to say
Heaven's prison: passion's a helluva price to pay.