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Saturday, December 30, 2006

one of those days

some days are better than others. some days just start off odd and you know by the way you wake up that it isn't going to be the best, not even close!

so you decide waking up that you didn't wake up soon enough to get the good "laying in bed thinking time" that you needed, your neck is stiff, and you waited far too long to drink your first cup of coffee and you're doomed to a headache for the rest of the day.

yep, it's one of those days for me. i'm certainly unavoidably irritated by everyone and everything. nope, no polyanna nichole this day. i tried my hardest to make the best out of each part of my day, but it just wasn't happening. i give. i surrender.

hope tomorrow turns out better.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Ugly

December 26, 2006 - Tuesday
Ugly


You took what you wanted.
Your pleasure in the midst of her pain.
If you see tears in a woman's eyes
You know you've cut her deep inside

Sex isn't always love
And love isn't always sex
This is selfish lust
That feeds your loins and destroys her soul.

She won't say a word
She's afraid she brouht it on
In his sick mind, there was consent
Because she didn't fight

But what was the point?
He wasn't going away
His face gnarled like vomit
As he climaxed

Now she can't hide from the image
That plays over in her mind
She can't hide from herself
Because he's etched in her mind.

8:47 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Thursday, December 7, 2006

What do YOU want from me?

Everybody wants something from the people they are near or communicate with. Sometimes though, people don't want to admit to that person what it is they want from him/her. They are either hiding something, embarrassed, scared, or just plain shy. Everyone wants something from the people we are with, whether it be companionship, love, entertainment, advice, ego strokes, friendship, etc.

The trouble is, most people don't ask for what they want from you. They just hang out until they get it and when they aren't getting it, they either adapt or go away. Worse yet is when they get it and skate leaving you feeling like a victim of a slick swindle.

The other day a friend called that I don't talk to very often and the conversation just went limp. I kept thinking, what do you want from me? You keep calling and we never have anything to say. If it's such an effort to pull out words., how can we relate? So all that's left is: what does she WANT?

Last night, a casual friend called and asked if I could go have a drink. The whole time we were together, I kept wondering to myself, "What do you want from me?" I'm pretty sure I had it figured out, but I just couldn't understand the point. Have I just become so incredibly jaded that I assume everyone's motives long before I give them the chance to prove their integrity?

I wonder when someone wants to start a friendship, why? I mean it all made sense when I was younger and thought everyone was genuine and we were exploring and finding what we wanted in life. But why at our age seek out new friends? I am suspicious that this new person has failed miserably at friendship. What else could it be? If THEY are so great, they should have sufficient people to fill their lives and have little room to start a new venture. They would be spreading themselves too thin.

It's easy to see why single men and women would seek each other out, but coupled men and women, what are they seeking in others? What are others seeking in them?

I don't necessarily want you all to think I'm pessimistic. I just want to know. Not to be rude, or get my ego stroked. I just wish I knew. From him and her, and YOU!