So I had an interesting conversation today with a friend of mine. We deciided to make today THE day to go grocery shopping. It was some SERIOUS shopping, first to Trader Joes for all the organic and swank stuff, not to mention the cheap wine. Then it was off to Safeway for the staples. Finally it was Uwajimaya to get green tea ice cream, sashimi, and oysters.
So this girl, I love her but she's in a hard space right now. She's feeling a lot of emotions right now and she's kinda pissed that she even has to be dealing with the stuff that she is.
I started thinking about my last blog and I tried to deliver the virtues of emoting. But she was just pissed. It dawned on me that the difference between me, being ok with my emotions and those that don't want to feel is that I'm not carrying a secondary emotion. *I have no idea if this is a real concept, but I'm gonna take credit for it at least until someone sets me straight. As far as I know it came to me a priori.
It's a realtively simple concept. You have emotions that make you uncomfortable and a secondary emotion develops either in response or defense. One that is sad or depressed becomes angry. One that is lonely becomes depressed and so forth. This extra emotion complicates and prolongs the situation whereas just being in the moment/feeling the first emotion helps you move on and grow. If you deal with it, the other one can't develop. So the question is, and possibly the answer: Why not stop doing that?
Saturday, April 8, 2006
Are emotions like dandelions? Left unattended they multiply
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We are SOOOO on the same page. I just got off the phone with my friend. I tried to explain to him how my (using your term) secondary emotion towards him developed as a result of a conversation I was too afraid to have with him ... and he got all defensive and tried to throw the whole thing back at me. That's why we develop secondary emotions, because we are too vulnerable either within ourselves to share them, or because we FEAR FEAR FEAR that in sharing them something worse will happen. Such as someone getting mad at you (which just happened to me). Why not stop that? Maybe I'm just around people who can't soothe me correctly. Maybe I should think about that some more. This is probably the best blog you've ever written.
Posted by Cocoalove (Flexwriter) on April 8, 2006 - Saturday at 10:35 PM
Wow! Thanks. It was really off the cuff, based on a fleeting thought, but I really felt it was pertinant. Much love!
Posted by nichole leigh :: photographer on April 8, 2006 - Saturday at 10:39 PM
Read it a couple times...
dont think JoE is that deep yet lol
Posted by *JoE the truth in the white lie on April 9, 2006 - Sunday at 2:01 PM
WHAT-ever! I read your last blog you li-annnn azzz!
Posted by nichole leigh :: photographer on April 9, 2006 - Sunday at 2:06 PM
You are wise beyond your years.
Posted by LakerBunny on April 9, 2006 - Sunday at 8:26 PM
"I have no idea if this is a real concept, but I'm gonna take credit for it at least until someone sets me straight, because as far as I know it came to me a priori. "
lmao at that....I'm realizing the more of your blogs i read...I'm far to immature for you to be communicating with..lol....or maybe I'm not..but you seem hella...on a whole different level from me (granted you ARE a good few years older than I am)...
your last paragraph or stanza..whatever they are called....kind of lost me..but oh well...I wish i knew more people that think or overthink about things as much as I do...
Posted by jAh~"who";;3k (Df)(Docd) on August 6, 2006 - Sunday at 11:25 PM
It's that damn college thing! A degree in philosophy will do it to ya!
Posted by nichole leigh :: photographer on August 7, 2006 - Monday at 8:18 AM
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