My idealistic (or maybe you might call it sophomoric) view on love

There's a subject that I've explored to a great extent the past few weeks.

"What makes two people more connected than others?"

I know from my own experience and watching my friends explore life, lovers and friendships that there are two kinds of relationships. The first is a lover or a friend on an outer level. I'll explore the idea of a lover mainly, but this concept is applicable towards all relationships incuding friendships, colleagues, family, and so on. In the outer level, you may experience chemistry, sexual attraction and compatibility, admiration, fondness, and many other below the surface feelings for this person. You may even experience deeper feelings of love and deep endearment. You may even develop intense passion and selflessness where this person is concerned. I believe this to be the case for easily 80 percent of relationships.

But what about that deeper level, the "soul mate" I know, it sounds so cliche' but for lack of a better term, I'll call it that. By a soul mate, I mean two people that have the things on the outer level, but something more. These people can start off finding a deep connection with each other in several levels. One of the most poignant or obvious way is deep cultural similarities OR (please note the "or" here) understangings. Similar thought process and intellectual compatibility. Comparable passions such as art, sports, music, reading, politics etc. and a balance between depth and chemistry in the interactions of the two. The two of you are not neccesarily carbon copies, but rather like minded. You both have taken the time to accept that the two of you are dynamic in thought, belief and choice, but the higher level of communication is always static. Your soulmate is balanced and reflective of yourself. A soulmate will notice the tiny similarities in the other, and relish the differences. A soulmate will never grow to resent these differences, but by contrast will admire and respect them because he/she took the time to really know you and accepts you for who you are. A soulmate grows with his/her partner never growing apart, even if on different paths.

A friend recently asked me how many people I thought were "out there" for you? My response was two, not necessarily two people but two possibilities of "types" of loves. Analogously, imagine a puzzle or a tailored suit. Certainly we can find an adeqaute off the rack sport coat in a generic size. But it's not you. It's functional, but you'd happily trade it in for a better one. You might make two pieces of a puzzle fit but if you haven't taken the time to see if it's the right fit, or just a temporarily 'i got one!' fit they aren't meant to be together. They will have to be taken apart eventually to truly complete the puzzle. Apply the imagery to our personalities and heart & soul... one can consider oneself molded with two people. If we imagine every person lined up across puzzle that is life. That person would find themselves back to back with a sufficient match and face to face with a perfect match. The person you are back to back with will fit your criteria as the basic compatible mate, but the one face to face has the elemental success of deep compatibility and understanding. Settling for a fit that doesn't allow the two of you to see eye to eye is a sad and tragic thing. I've tried to learn that not everything is meant for me. I am grateful for those that enhance my life. But for me, I'm looking for that person that will know me inside and out. What every gesture means, and loves my passion's penulum highs enough to accpet it's lows. Someone willing to teach and learn by my side. Just a companion. One who 'gets' me. And in reciprocity I'll do the same till the day I die.

Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts and objections.

Currently listening :
Workin' Together
By Ike and Tina Turner
Release date: 22 May, 2001