Being approachable... a not so out of the norm strange encounter

March 20, 2006 - Monday


A strange encounter
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

The strangest thing happened to me today.

I decided to take myself out to lunch at the local Mexican restaurant and read a book. I was about 1/3 of the way through my scallop tostada when the lady at the next table approached me. She politely asked me if she could interrupt and ask me a question. I was certain it was about the book I was reading or about the waiter whom I had just finished a brief catch-me-up on this, my old favorite haunt.

Not that at all...

So she asks me as she sits down across from me about what Seattle is "like". Of course this is not the simple question I once suspected it would be. Turns out she's considering relocating from San Francisco. I discuss with her my best pro's and con's view of Seattle. She presses on and for some strange reason, I'm not even bothered that we've been sitting for almost a half an hour! I am not at all concerned that my lunch sits half eaten in front of me and I've ignored at least four calls and 3 email notifications. Not even saddened that my book went untouched (especially considering how rare these days I find the time), I'm actually really enjoying this conversation. Further, she tells me that there's this man that is a small part of her decision out here that she likes, but is not sure he feels the same.

Oddly enough many of her dilemmas have been discussed in recent blogs and I felt pretty comfortable with discussing the subject matter. As I inquired about small details, I even noticed some parallels in my own current state and told her of some of my recent epiphanies.

It was so bizarre because every now and then I became consious of what was going on: That I was giving advice and conversing with a stranger who sat at my table as if she was one of my closest friends. It was a little Twilight-Zone-ish. I would momentarily think "WEIRD, isn't this?- That I'm talking like this with a stranger" and immediately pop back to the conversation. I sort of felt like a professor on the first day of class. I relaxed enough to finish my Tostada as she answered this all important question I shot out: INSTEAD OF THINKING OF WHAT IS HERE FOR YOU, TELL ME WHAT YOU WOULD BE LEAVING BEHIND.

As the conversation progressed, I could see her GENUINE interest in what I was saying. I could see her engaged and fully considering my questions before she answered them. She admitted that she's at the age (about mine) where she wants to fall in love and start a family. She's got her master's degree and now she wants a family. It's funny though, as old as we get, we still can feel 17 when we are confused. She said her face has broken out from stress and she's been spacey and needy this week (staying with *the guy*) trying to make her decision (or make it feel right). We laughed about how she's displaying all the turn-offs of the "getting to know you" stage with a guy. They want us flawlessly beautiful for the attraction, intellectally stimulating, and not-a-needy-emo case. And I told her I'm no one to talk. I haven't exactly gotten it right.

Try to look at the positive side of him seeing you at your worst. At least you'll find out right off the bat if he's shallow! And take heart in the fact that it can only get better.

All in all, it was a peculiar, yet invigorating experience. The convo was no different than ones I've had a dozen times with close friends. She's confused, she's in limbo, about to make a change she's considered for the past year. She's infatuated, she's stressed, she's excited. I will always wonder what happened to her.

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