Spending all of my free time spread between frail elders and my youthful teen, I'm feeling slightly emotional. A feeling I have rarely succumbed to over the past 15 or so years. You probably know those moments as they always creep out in my writings right here in this limitless weird anonymous world you share with me.
Tonight I almost shed a tear. "Run at midnight" opened up to me and shared his secret with me: his joy. It made me feel restless in my wild heart. I'm so excited that he has finally found what he was looking for. It made me feel fortunate that I was part of his journey as a friend in watching him find it. But I'm still sad. Sad that he's only shared the joy with me; in that his joy is forbidden. Sad that he hasn't told a soul but me. I'm reverting to my irritation to the contract of marriage and that people only stay together for finances and the children.
Fuck this! First, the state has no right putting it's hands in love and the marriage contract ought not ever been tied to finances-even more so in modern day where wives are not property of husbands and due alimony to survive if left abandoned.
Second, a parent riddled with sadness of the loneliness of self-sacrificing for sake of staying with the children is nuts. This is no example for what you want for your child! Let this man have his joy! Let him play lacrosse with his boy and listen to his daughters silly giggling antics when she has sleepovers. Just let him do it SEPARATELY from their mom and let. him. have. his. joy.
They is no reason why parents can't divide life equally while allowing one another to feel true joy when the unity that brought then together is no longer that.
Tonight I almost shed a tear. "Run at midnight" opened up to me and shared his secret with me: his joy. It made me feel restless in my wild heart. I'm so excited that he has finally found what he was looking for. It made me feel fortunate that I was part of his journey as a friend in watching him find it. But I'm still sad. Sad that he's only shared the joy with me; in that his joy is forbidden. Sad that he hasn't told a soul but me. I'm reverting to my irritation to the contract of marriage and that people only stay together for finances and the children.
Fuck this! First, the state has no right putting it's hands in love and the marriage contract ought not ever been tied to finances-even more so in modern day where wives are not property of husbands and due alimony to survive if left abandoned.
Second, a parent riddled with sadness of the loneliness of self-sacrificing for sake of staying with the children is nuts. This is no example for what you want for your child! Let this man have his joy! Let him play lacrosse with his boy and listen to his daughters silly giggling antics when she has sleepovers. Just let him do it SEPARATELY from their mom and let. him. have. his. joy.
They is no reason why parents can't divide life equally while allowing one another to feel true joy when the unity that brought then together is no longer that.
