Pro-Hedonism

October 6, 2007 - Saturday



Current mood: Remebering feeling love stoned
Category: Love stoned Romance and Relationships

**Excuse any typos, I chose not to edit this for fear of editing content and taking the passion out of it

Do you ever wonder why we have certain standards? Specifically in matters of "love & sex"

I mean, I GET the whole "consistency" thing. It's very convenient and has oodles of merits.

But there are some of us (I assume it's just some cuz everyone seems to be buying into the norm) who don't want it like myself. I can't seem to live with it, and flat out reject it!!!

So it boils down to this: relationships. we are always in them, like it or not. All of our interactions are relationships even if for only one night. so why is it that people like to put a label, status, or contract to them? I'm not saying boundaries can;t be set and commmitments made if two mutually agree. Honestly, we are big blobs of thinking matter constantly seeking nourishment for growth. Sex and intimacy is no different. Just as one seeks and desires food, they also seek physical pleasures. These two elements feed the body and the heart. So why is it acceptable for folks to have diverse palates, different times of eating,varying amounts, and a wealth of preferences when we are told nourishment in the form of intimacy has to follow EVERYONE ELSE'S GUIDELINES. Why does our passion have to always be on a diet, or commanded by a nutritionist. Sure, some ways of eating can kill me just as some ways of making love can kill me. But most people know how to avoid severe demise in all of their consumption, so why not allow freedom in the consumption of passion.

Some of us have a lot more of it than others, just like muscle mass. We need to feed our passion more vigorously than those with less.

I don't want marriage. I don't want a man to live with me. Unless, that is, it feels right for the right reasons. For example (imagine, don't assume this is true) I told my last boyfriend that I never wanted these things and it seemed as though it became his crusade to convince me I had to have it. I almost fell for it, but I met my now love during our year and a half coexistence. But I started to fall for the dream the first one sold, even though neither of us wanted it, at least not with each other. I almost let the second one go. Story ends in utter tyranny as both of us snap to our senses. I felt inspiration in poetry, philosophy, passion, music, metaphors, desire, and oh so many "big things" while he found inspiration in stability, calm, and roots. I needed to fly and treated nostalgia as a beautiful means to self-discovery. He held strong to it, reliving it as best he could. Two people who bonded over nostalgia, yet completely different in the end with a complete different value placed on the nostalgia.

So, imagine he does his best to convince her to think the way he does but he falls in love instantly with a more qualified wife. She's set aback, mostly out of hurt ego and frustration at the stupidity of almost being sold the lake-front property in the desert. She (I) return to my other lover that blesses me every day with passion and inspiration. I start to believe in myself again. I start to love myself again. How is it that when I was in what society told me was the "right" situationlf according to standards, I was unhappy and lost myself? With my lover, we experience hedonism, mutual faith, pure honesty, and unconditional giving. Yet we will never marry and procreate. We wander from time to time and experience another, but we always return to one another. I know it isn't forever, but if we we ran into each other in old age and alone: I honestly could see us broken and rickety running off on fascinating adventures long beyond when Viagra works, or even wanted. Yet we will never give each other what you all think we "need" but we will always fulfill and satisfy each other beyond any expectation.

Why does the second relationship sound so much more appealing to me? Am I crazy, or am I the only one who places John Stuart Mill's Utilitarianism into play when it comes to matters of the heart. See, I seek pleasure. Not at the expense of others, but for general gain. If the two of us are happy, it doesn't hurt anyone, but it assures two less miserable people in this world.

I don't seek to fit my heart into a box confined by rules. I just want to let it give love and let another do the same. No rules.

Just something to think about.

Currently listening :
Justify My Love
By Madonna

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