Trust is better without labels.. Status Schmatus

do you trust me?

this question's answer is the epitome of personal validation,

I've always believed that the only trust that is true is that which comes free of obligation.
ex: If you desire commitment from me you ought not require a label for the answer. As a matter of fact, my gift of true trust & commitment should come from my DESIRE to commit my longing for you & only you.... Not the necessity and reciprocity of that obligation.

If you are confused, let me just say this: If I say I love you. If I say I want you. If I open myself physically, emotionally, & actively to you... another's desire for me should not be of mind.

I am an attractive person, no Kim, no Nicole, no Ciara, by any means. But I am Coco. I have my attributes. I act on my impulses & out of my self, sensuality, intelligence & intrigue because I am who I am: who you desire. So think about it... why wouldn't another man desire me as well? It shouldn't threaten you, it should validate your choice. PERIOD.

Let me surmise that I am not the one all desire, but I am who YOU desire. Because of who I am. So why dammit wouldn't someone else agree with your choice? If this is the case, why would you want me to decline another advance solely because of my label tied to you & not because I just simply chose you?

I simply mean this: Is it more valuable that I have the label 'girlfriend' or 'wife'.......or would there be no value in my decline of another's advancement because I :::::chose you? Would you prefer I decline another's advance as "I'm flattered but...." or "I just simply am not interested" Take away the labels of "status" & allow a woman to choose based on simply who she wants & you have something real, not restricted.

Peace & Love, Coco

*the box, the label..is face security. The choice is the only commitment one should yearn for. If that is absent, that is the only matter for concern.

Stop Your Fussin'

Let the rain come down

Does anyone know who Toni Childs is?
Well, if you don't you should : http://www.tonichilds.com/

If you know Matt Goening, you should know her, she's of the same genre. When I thing of the Simpsons, I think of her her and vice/versa

My personal favorites are Zimbabwe and Stop Your Fussin'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utI69alKRUI

Listen to this gal and remember to stop fussin and remember shit could be worse.

Call me if you need a shoulder

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me.
I've come to see as of late there are infinite levels of love.


I am grappling with several levels of this word. This feeling. This feast. This fast. This battle. This gift. The epitome of pleasure. The overdose of fear obsession & pain.


Friends and loves

My forever

This. This is forever. I'm not sure how I get to forever, but you... you I know will be there.

Painters

I have a past

I've barely slept. He told me last that he thinks I'm in love with someone else. The man had been involved with intimately for quite some time before we even met.

But he didn't understand that my love for that man, although it was inconsequential to he and I and required no clarification my part, was intricate and benign . As were all my past relations...inconsequential in that they had no immediate influence on "us". My past has formed me, true. But my past has no other relavance. Nor should it be of any mind other than ' love it or leave it'.

I'm going to stand my ground on my sentimentality & fondness of prior romantic or sexual influences.

Your take?

Lonely in here

Dang I can only blame myself.... I never post anymore. My only follower left me. I can't say that I blame 'em, it's preeetty dry in here. And clearly I am now talking to myself. ouch.

All done sorting now it's time to edit.

There's one thing I need to do more as well as less.

EDITING.

There's nothing I hate worse than:

Being misunderstood. Is it so much to ask that a person have a conversation with an open mind? I realize I'm not the greatest at expressing feelings and abstract thoughts, but a little interest wouldn't hurt. Instead I got summations from my conversation partner that were quite incorrect, yet the other person was dead certain to have had it all figured out.

I met a person a while back who taught me about process flows. He drew a simple diagram and my artsy brain was off and running. I remember that lesson clearly and I made my own PF about the aforementioned dynamic.

Now hold on, red flag: why care, why bother when the other party is an ass? We bother, we care because we must to coexist. Such is life and one cannot walk away from life in order to avoid conflict. A lonely and misunderstood world would result. So here goes the struggle:

Why are you so anti-judge when throughout the entire conversation you judged my words, often in mid sentence.

If I am unclear with what you said or you tell me I misunderstood, I make the effort to hear you out.

This does not make me high maintenance in most people's book, but if it does, you are welcome to find another more palatable person to occupy space in your life.

All I wish I could have gotten from this person was a little kindness. The refusal to answer the initial question quickly died as the center of the issue and was replaced by facing a formidable offensive line-up.

All in all, I just want to be treated nicely. If you don't want to answer a question I have, that's your right.

1. curiousity
2. goal: need for understanding
3. act on 1, ask questions
4. replay how 1. is coarsely understood by repeating
5. seek other parties to clarify if 4. is incorrect and redirect.
6. listen and adjust to accurately attain goal
7. repeat 3-6 in a healthy communicative manner until goal is reached.

so not pf, but I frankenstined it to my benefit and it seems reasonable.
gimme your thoughts on respectful/non confrontational understanding others.

News

1. Looks like I got a new job. Counting my freelance work, that makes for 3 jobs. It's good to be busy. 2. I just bought a car for my son. 3. My foot still hurts when I don't wear my aircast.

I heard this today

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine?

Finalé... Pearl Jam "Black"