Pollyanna isn't so bad

Today is a very happy day for me. Yesterday was a bit overwhelming, but through the course of it I was able to see something about myself I was completely unaware of and set some goals for myself:
~My feelings are always valid, but the way I treat others as a result of those feelings isn't always valid.
~Seeking the positive in every situation no matter how grave it appears is my new goal for the way I walk through this life.
~Fear is like a parasite, if it gets in, it can take over a healthy being and turn it into a mess. I don't want to let my fears control me and turn me into a negative person.
I still love the people I love. I hope you all are interested in walking beside me in my path to become a better person. It may not always be a smoothe one, but I'm on my way nonetheless.
UPDATE********Holy cow! I went out to lunch today with a friend after posting this blog and here's what my fortune says:
"You will be transforming a situation in your life now with a positive attitude"
Wow, I'm speechless.

My five year plan

I've often wondered what the point of making a five year plan is? Really, there are so many variables that one can never account for. So many people that we need to factor in or out of our plan that refuse to give any indiaction of whether you fit into THEIR five year plan. So many opinionated bosses and co-workers that "are never going to change" or obnoxious neighbors, etc. So how can we bank on anything outside of ourselves.

I was asked today where I want to be in five years. I know exactly where I want to be, with whom and doing what. The problem is, I can't divulge that information because I have no idea if it will pan out or not so I have tho keep it all hypotheical and proverbial. I end up perpetuating the pattern that blocks the ironing out of my plan. I'll admit, I'm affraid to be the first to publish my plan. I wish I had the cahones of Rosa Parks and MLK, but I'm just another chicken-sh*t afraid to make the first move in the name of change. Although you all think I'm an open book, the river that is Nichole runs deep and even those closest to me don't really know what I want. I like it better that way, because what I want and what I'll get may be two different things and I'd rather not have egg on my face.