Being misunderstood. Is it so much to ask that a person have a conversation with an open mind? I realize I'm not the greatest at expressing feelings and abstract thoughts, but a little interest wouldn't hurt. Instead I got summations from my conversation partner that were quite incorrect, yet the other person was dead certain to have had it all figured out.
I met a person a while back who taught me about process flows. He drew a simple diagram and my artsy brain was off and running. I remember that lesson clearly and I made my own PF about the aforementioned dynamic.
Now hold on, red flag: why care, why bother when the other party is an ass? We bother, we care because we must to coexist. Such is life and one cannot walk away from life in order to avoid conflict. A lonely and misunderstood world would result. So here goes the struggle:
Why are you so anti-judge when throughout the entire conversation you judged my words, often in mid sentence.
If I am unclear with what you said or you tell me I misunderstood, I make the effort to hear you out.
This does not make me high maintenance in most people's book, but if it does, you are welcome to find another more palatable person to occupy space in your life.
All I wish I could have gotten from this person was a little kindness. The refusal to answer the initial question quickly died as the center of the issue and was replaced by facing a formidable offensive line-up.
All in all, I just want to be treated nicely. If you don't want to answer a question I have, that's your right.
1. curiousity
2. goal: need for understanding
3. act on 1, ask questions
4. replay how 1. is coarsely understood by repeating
5. seek other parties to clarify if 4. is incorrect and redirect.
6. listen and adjust to accurately attain goal
7. repeat 3-6 in a healthy communicative manner until goal is reached.
so not pf, but I frankenstined it to my benefit and it seems reasonable.
gimme your thoughts on respectful/non confrontational understanding others.
