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Monday, April 23, 2007

I would have made a good Greek

The Greeks felt living with random, changing, seemingly inconsistent, undefined and unmeasured aspects of human life and the world, essentially the Greek word chaos, was equivalent to living in a state of constant anxiety.

Last night, I was telling someone I was very worried. I was describing that there was no rational reason for it, but there was this feeling in my gut of impending doom. A lot of negative things have happened around me the last 4 days, particularly the past 24 hours. Things not necessarily related to me, but things that I am aware of or nearby. Pan out to the past month and the horrific things happening with racism, sexism, and violence, I question the reasons why. In my own need to feel order, purpose and measure I search deep inside to answer that question "why". I was contemplating there was something very negative going on in the world that all of this is building up to. My own way in placing order to it all by replacing chaos with a pattern. I have this need to search for a "kosmos" in the way the Greeks had.

In relation to my own piece of this world, my gut is telling me something is problematic. I cannot get past this nagging feeling that there is something terribly wrong. Of course it's pretty egocentric to think that this chaos would zoom in and focus somehow on me, but for some reason, I can't shake the feeling.

My current, but soon to be past bf told me last night to avoid my "gut" feeling because the mind has the ability and power to turn those feelings into a self fulfilled prophecy.

I still feel the need for further analysis to make sense, good or bad of the world around me and my own human life. Even if I am able to grasp at a pattern of measure for the chaos, at the least, I will have made sense of it all.

Friday, April 13, 2007

In light of recent goings on in the media

I really respect Tupac Shakur aka 2Pac if you didn't know.:: gone for over a decade and the man's words still apply to things going on today.
a man in the midst of the gangsta and ghetto mentality, trying to make a change for not just his own people, but all of us.

I'm offended. I'm a woman for one. Secondly, I've struggled and overcome poverty and hardship to put myself through college. I can't see the reason to judge someone for the color of their skin, nap of their hair, or whatever genetilia the fathering sperm of a child decided for him/her to develop into.

I also understand that as long as people are contributing to the image; ex: rappers degrading their own people, and worse, their sisters, mothers and daughters, we will never be free from bigotry. People that are bigots think they can say anything racist or sexist they like and use the excuse "but their own people did it first in rap music" to hide behind others so noone will see the shame of their actions.

As Tupac cites, we have to ask a people, not as minorities, women, or otherwise non-alpha folks build strength within ourselves by saying enough is enough. I won't participate. I won't accept.

Read these lyrics and think about the message. Apply it to yourself in your daily interactions. Nothing changes if we all stay the same, so I urge each one of us to put forth the effort. And if some of you still think rap is degrading or meaningless, you're hopelessly lost in the world of generalizing.